Let’s be real. Dating is hard.

I have tried almost every dating app. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, you name it, and honestly, it didn’t work.

I deleted dating apps two months ago to start focusing on myself and my goals. But I realized three years too late that these platforms don’t normally lead to real-life connections.

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Of people under 30 years old, 53% said they had used a dating app, according to a 2023 study from the Pew Research Center. 

These apps can be an accessible way to find love, but sometimes they end up making us feel more disconnected and even rejected. It can be good to swipe for rejection therapy, but at the end of the day you always return to the same feelings of loneliness.

People frequently initiate conversations and then disappear without explanation, leaving interactions feeling shallow and insincere.

During the summer, I was talking with someone on Hinge for a few days and we set up a date. But a few hours before, he ghosted me and proceeded to unmatch me.

Being ghosted is not a good feeling. Personally, I like to keep paranormal activity separate from my dating life.

As I navigate dating in this digital world, dating feels more like fleeting connections. It can be difficult to find and sustain meaningful relationships in a culture that is obsessed with the newest and hottest thing, as if relationships are disposable. 

Every time I was bombarded with images on Instagram of couples enjoying seemingly perfect vacations, surprising each other with elaborate gestures or looking effortlessly happy, I would get a little upset.

It was like they were rubbing it in my face unintentionally. I almost began to think that my favorite internet couple went on a lovey-dovey vacation in Italy just to spite me.

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I began to recognize my reliance on dating apps and social media worsened my feelings of loneliness. 

However, there’s still hope. I learned other ways to combat this feeling by looking at what was right in front of me.

There can be great ways to meet new people and “window shop” for potential lovers, but dating apps and social media shouldn’t be the only way we seek human connection.

I always thought I would find someone I clicked with, a genuine connection, but it is difficult to find that traditionally nowadays.

It can be embarrassing to go up to someone and ask for their number.

However, on a college campus, you will find that you have more in common with others than you think. Talk to new people in your classes or clubs and make connections. 

Shoot your shot once in a while. There’s no shame in asking for someone out.

Even if you don’t immediately hit it off and become a couple, you’ll still gain a friend.