Trying to find an available spot on campus will have you experiencing all stages of grief, in a span of 30 minutes or more. 

The longest I’ve ever spent scavenging for a parking spot was easily an hour on the first day of the fall semester. To be fair I did arrive at noon, which is during peak busy hours on campus.

After 10 minutes of looking, I knew I was in for the search of my life. After 40 minutes of driving around searching for a spot, I felt the gray hairs sprouting.

Here is what my stream of consciousness looks like during that time:

“Ok guys… Is someone playing a prank on me? Where’s the camera?”

By the time I’ve moved onto the next completely unavailable commuter lot, I swear I’m being Punk’d and that Ashton Kutcher is laughing hysterically at me somewhere.

If this is a prank, it’s the most unfunny one ever. 

“Some of these people parked in the employee lots have to be lying.”

Surely not everyone parked in the employee lot belongs there. 

This thought always has me considering if I could pass as an employee as well.

Related: USF, don’t value pocket change more than your employees

“Oh that car in the next row over is pulling out! I wonder if I’ll have time to swipe that spot.”

Spoiler alert, I won’t.

“Online classes would never treat me like this.” 

Sometimes I miss when my schedule consisted of all online classes. The hassle of finding parking on top of commuting is sometimes just too much for an ordinary Monday.

“Is lack of parking a valid excuse for a class absence?”

At a certain point, you’re going to feel the urge to turn the car around and go home. The only thing to do is to commit. 

Trust the process, circle the parking lot a couple more times. Surely, a magical open spot will reveal itself. 

“If I see Rocky, it’s on sight.”

I know in my heart Rocky the Bull single-handedly built every single parking garage and lot on campus. 

Why would Rocky not build me my own reserved spot? I thought we were close. We even took a selfie together at the last football game.

“I wonder how many of these cars parked in the S lot are just lazy resident students…”

My main beef with resident students is that oftentimes they will opt for driving themselves around campus, which just worsens traffic and makes it more complicated for commuters to find parking that is reasonably close to their classes.

A main appeal of college campuses is their walkability. Resident students should take advantage of that and leave the convenient spots for commuters who drive lengthy distances to USF.

“I can’t believe I pay 90 bucks a semester just to not be guaranteed parking.”

The university sells more parking permits than there are spots available, which is frustrating because parking has been an ongoing issue for students.

It’s unfair that students have to pay for a parking system that is not always accomodating.

“How the hell is USF going to accommodate parking for the new football stadium.”

As hectic as traffic is right now, I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when our football stadium is complete.

Related link: USF’S football stadium will add much to the college experience

“Whatever, a $30 parking ticket is nothing. I don’t even care.”

Until I return to the car and find a white ticket under my windshield wipers. Then suddenly, I care.

“Screw it, I’m parking in the timed spot for free.”

The last resort is always just parking in a timed or reserved spot. I figure as long as I’m not in the handicap spot I’ll be fine. 

They can’t ticket us all anyways.

Related link: Got a parking ticket at USF? Here’s how to appeal it

At the end of the day, is it really the complete USF experience if you found a free spot on the first try?